14. Groovy Tony - ScHoolboy Q
Obviously Groovy Tony is a great song - it's my 14th best song of 2016, after all. Look, I've embedded it in this blog post and everything:
But I can't help but take issue with the nomenclature, because of course I can't, I'm that sort of pedant. Is Tony really that groovy? If this video is an accurate representation of an average day in the life of Tony, let's talk about what that day actually entails.
First off he pays a quick visit to a scrap yard. I'm not sure exactly what he's doing here, whether he's an employee or maybe part-owner of the business, or whether he's a consultant doing a safety inspection, as scrapyards can be quite dangerous if not managed well - the number of lying-down people on site really speak to that. I wouldn't describe his work activities as groovy, though. Diligent, perhaps. Diligent Tony.
Next we see him testing the efficacy of gun he's presumably just purchased. Now I don't know about you but when I come into receipt of a new tool or appliance, I definitely test its functioning - there's a limited window within which you can speedily refund a faulty item at purchase, and really all of us as consumers should make the effort to understand our rights when it comes to refunds, and to exercise those rights when we do make a purchase with which we are not satisfied. Sensible Tony.
Now Tony is relaxing and watching some television with his friends. What a good friend he is. Gregarious Tony.
It's really nice to see Tony taking who I presume is his girlfriend for a drive. Relationships don't build themselves, you know - you need to put effort into them, to grow them by spending quality time with your special someone, and making them feel valued and loved. Romantic Tony.
Car crashes are not groovy. Careless Tony. But at least he does go to the effort of picking up some of his litter. Environmentally-conscious Tony.
And he rounds out his day by visiting what looks like a gym, where another fellow is doing what appear to be chin-ups. Exercising on your own can be dangerous - as we unfortunately see at the end of the video - so Tony being there as a spotter is a really good idea. It's just a shame the other chap didn't take a break when he found he was the only person left in the gym. I can't entirely fault Tony for this though, it's really just bad luck. Unfortunate Tony.
I didn't see Tony grooving, or being groovy, or at any point being the recipient of a groove, but despite this Groovy Tony is the 14th best song of 2016.